Editors note: An ode to Dragons, and the Dungeons in which they dwell.
Hey everyone! Megan here, your third favourite co-host (Don’t worry Austin, we all know you are number one). I realized after recording this episode I frankly had a lot more to say then I got out when we recorded. But instead of trying to record it and literally crying the whole time – I didn’t think that would be a great listener experience – I’ve instead decided to write a seven page series comprised of 13 sonnets entitled “An ode to Dragons, and the Dungeons in which they dwell”.
“How do I slay thee? Let me list the ways
I could slay thee with poison spray, clogging your lungs of the ancient breath you draw,
I could slay thee with shocking grasp, electrifying you as your beauty electrified me,
I could slay thee with Power Word Kill, but I’m not a high enough level for that shit,
I could slay thee with Fire Ball, I don’t care how big the room is, I said FIREBALL”
In case it wasn’t clear, that was a joke. A bad one too, half of those spells are cantrips and wouldn’t slay anything worth writing a sonnet about. I did want to do a little write up still though, for those who care to read my thoughts instead of listening to me blab them. There are three people I’d like to direct these thoughts to, and those are my DM, my character Maverick, and you!
First, to my DM. I never wanted to play D&D. It wasn’t something I disliked, I’d seen it in pop culture references, I knew you were starting a game, but my only thought was “an afternoon with the living room to myself on the weekend? Fuckin’ alright!” If you told me almost two years later, I would be literally keeping myself awake at night over this game, playing in multiple campaigns, having hosted my own one shot and moved on to be in the process of running my own campaign... I wouldn’t be super surprised; I’m kind of a flighty bitch and I like to singularly obsess over things when I get pulled in by them. But this wasn’t cross stitching or a new video game, this was a whole world I could venture into and explore in and build relationships with people and occasionally participate in comical espionage. There was real magic in that to me, and not just the fact that I could cast Defiled Synergy, a spell you crafted specifically for Maverick. It was like a book with an amazing story and world, and intricate people with desires and needs and motivations, and I got to not just dip my toes in but full on swan dive down and deep and really affect the story - that was wild to me. I had a say in what was happening in the world around me, which is a weirdly foreign concept I think to a 20-something living in this day and age. But aside from that, I also got to form and strengthen these bonds I had with these real-life people, sitting in my living room every weekend, pretending we were anywhere else but there. There are people in the group I wouldn’t be nearly as close with as I am now, and people I think I frankly wouldn’t have gone that same mile to get to know. But now? I love these people so much, and I’m forever grateful for the opportunity to have them in my life in this capacity.
We partly have you to thank for that Eric. I know the campaign may not have ended in the awesome Us-Against-the-Gods way we wanted, but it was still so important to each of us in our own ways. I don’t think I could ever properly express the appreciation I have for you for taking that on and running that game every week. A home brew campaign none the less! Starting my own campaign now and seeing the work that goes into that continuously blows me away. It wasn’t perfect by any means, but it was ours and it meant the world to me. An especially important note I want to hit is that I felt accepted into this game immediately. I hear a lot about people trying to get into the game and being met with rule lawyers, or people who think they should know the game right off. You made the game accessible enough that I could learn as I played, and it made the whole experience feel authentic. I felt like I was learning magic right along with Mavs. You made me deal with things that I would avoid on a normal day – loss, having to make choices with consequences for other people, death, love – and it was incredibly eye opening. I’ve felt strongly for characters before, but these people were mine. Darthran Jr was as close to having a nephew as she would have gotten and showed her that even though this world is cruel and dark, there really isn’t anything the smile of a baby you love won’t fix or the lengths to which you’d go to protect them. Belinda was the sweet bar maid that took kind to our group and who became a close gal pal to Mavs and taught her it was still important to let loose every so often. Theo (literally typing his name made me burst into tears, cool) was such a sweet close friend to her, who constantly referred to her as little but never once made her question her strength. And Francis. He was my father who raised me and cared for me, who I would watch die and through a gift from a god be given the chance to bring him back to life. Who taught me that “No good story ever started with playing it safe” But that didn’t mean that ever risk was worth taking. The Iron Creed was so important to Mavs, but it was the other people in her life and the people in your world and the events within unfolding that made her feel real. The playlists also brought a level of life to the characters (For context, character playlists were made for each character, a lot of the songs in mavericks were actual songs that she used in game). I haven’t been able to listen to certain songs for months because they just break my heart when I hear them because it reminds me of something from the game. For example, I can’t listen to “Þú ert jörðin” because all I see is a slow-motion scene of Mavs and Theo running through the war zone capitol of Sta’ahn as literal fucking meteors and undead dragons rain on them from the skies. OR the fact that I can’t watch like 60% of the Disney Princess movies anymore because we related too many things to Maverick, and too many of their songs are in her playlist now. Or how I tried to use a song against you one time in a letter to Francis, and it completely backfired. Follow that with Mavs writing her first song for someone important to her who’d left while she was in the middle of being obliterated drunk all week over the loss, and you making up a physical copy of Francis’ journal as a prop for me to read through and learn more about him… it’s been a very intense ride.
The above is basically my long-winded way of saying thank you. The below can be taken as that as well if you read between the lines.
To my character, Maverick. Oh girl, you’ve been through so much, I’m so proud of you. When I first started playing this game, I never intended for you to be a long played character – a fun, helpful NPC type character that the creed would love, I’d help in a cool fight and then hop off into the sunset. Backstory? I don’t need one, I won’t be around long enough for it to matter! If only I knew what kind of story I was helping write for you from that first session. You started off fairly simple, you were just meant to be me but with white hair and cool rabbit ears because Eric said “What? Sure, why not” or something like that. And so, fun rabbit girl I became! Although you started as “me” you very quickly grew to become your own person. You loved people, felt hurt and tired, got excited and happy, and got to have so many wonderful and horrific adventures. You’ve had to bury your friends and say goodbye, you faced down an army and escaped a warzone, you’ve spoken with gods, you’ve pulled objects from your dreams, some real wild shit that I wouldn’t be able to properly summarize if I tried. You pulled an imp from hell and bound him to you through magic and became determined to give him a better life, as one does when they’ve accidentally summoned an imp to be their familiar. You’ve saved lives and you’ve lost them, but no matter what you kept moving forward. You were screaming while you were moving forward, but still you kept moving no matter what. It was incredible to get to experience things through your eyes and have to put myself in your shoes, knowing how I might act one way in a given situation but having to stop and ask myself “What would Mavs do?”. Over time, I didn’t have to stop and think, it just became natural to know you well enough and know what you would do. You also taught me to trust my gut, because holy crap, the amount of times I got to say “I was right” in this campaign was both spiritually fulfilling and also soul destroying.
You taught me so much, my little lady. I’m sad that I didn’t get to explore every part of your story and help you unravel your past, but I’m so grateful I was given the opportunity to get to know you and learn from you, and I’m so happy I got to experience those highs and lows with you. I’m so proud of the growth in you that I got to see over the last year and a half. Thank you for letting me take that ride with you.
Finally, to you! The audience, whoever is still with me. First, if you haven’t cried at least once, damn. You’re either cold or talented, but either way I respect it. Second, if you have ever once though in your life that you maybe might be interested in D&D, my only advice is this - do it. Honestly, this goes for any kind of creative thing that could be deemed silly to do as an adult. We aren’t encouraged to indulge in creativity for creativity sake as we grow up, and I didn’t realize just how sad it made me. D&D filled that gap I didn’t know I had in my life. I was a drama kid all throughout high school (funny, there’s an upcoming episode about this!), and after I graduated my life just seemed so ?? dull. Drab. What have you, it was bleh. D&D wasn’t the fix to everything, but it’s what encouraged me to allow myself to just be creative for the hell of it again. It helped me embrace and learn about the sides of me I would normally ignore that might feel a little spooky and really face those personal and intrapersonal challenges head on. It’s the first time I’ve ever sat in my living room and had a group of 8-10 people cry on purpose and everyone was fine with it. Actually, I totally invited people to that session. They sat in my living room and watched me and a bunch of grown ass men cry over a fictional character for like eight hours, and they were like “we want in”.
And its contagious. One day I’m texting Morgan about Maverick and how I like her, and the next thing I know we’re playing in a campaign as fellow students literally going to wizard school together. How fucking awesome?
I do want to give a brief mention to the party that I played with and continue to play with. I loved you all already, but it’s been such a special pleasure to get to know you in the way I have, and I’m not sure my life would be quite the same without you – all of you. You’ve all taught me so many different things and getting the opportunity now to run my own campaign for you makes me feel like I’m sparkling on the inside. And to the characters you played, to the Iron Creed. Thank you for loving Maverick, supporting her, and encouraging her to grow. Also, for almost getting her killed on multiple occasions, doing stupid shit to stress her out, getting her drunk, gambling, sailing, waging wars and being otherwise foolish with good intentions by her side. Her journey wouldn’t have been the same with out you. There probably would have been less balverines.
But also, what the fuck? No seriously, fuck all of you.
To leave you with some final thoughts; This game is wild, and awesome, and awe-inspiring, and heartbreaking, and wonderfully uplifting, and silly, and terrifying, and anxiety riddled, and so much more than a game in my opinion. If you get the chance, give it a shot. Or hell, pick up a pre done one shot book and DM for your friends! You’d be surprised how good you probably are at it, how much fun you might have, and how much you’ll learn about yourself along the way.
Sorry, one last thing. For the love of god, don’t let any of your characters use words as names… you don’t think the word “hollow” is used much in regular conversation until your soul dies a little every time you hear it.
